Menopause: Sea Change and Tidal Wave
When a woman first comes into my office, she is often feeling desperate. She is experiencing changes to her body, mood, sleep patterns, libido and ability to focus. She is also vaguely aware that there is a deeper sea change happening, that something bigger than her symptoms is at work under the surface.
A raw power is rising up, but it feels out of control, and very different from what has come before. This adds to her anxiety. She may fear that her body is irretrievably broken. She is looking for answers, for relief, and at least for the moment, to be "fixed." She wants things to be the way they were, even if they weren't great, because at least they were familiar, something she knows she can cope with.
As midlife women, many of us are used to feeling somewhat in control of our lives, our time, our rhythms. We have to, in order to juggle the many tasks that are required of us as we do our work in the world, keep our homes, raise our children. When the hormonal tidal wave hits and we begin to experience disruptions to our 'steady state', this can be quite unbalancing and affect every area of our lives.
When a woman comes in deep in the 'spin cycle' and feels pulled under by the tidal wave, I remind her that her life as a woman is a continuum and one that is very much influenced by hormonal status. I remind her "you've got this." You have done this before. While we are generally too unformed during our puberty to have any perspective on the turbulence and uncertainty of those years, we got through it. Many women, with their monthly cycles, undergo significant disruption to their sleep, mood, appetite and ability to cope with their day-to-day lives. Any woman who has been pregnant, can tell you that you are no longer in control of your body, your brain, your mood or environment. We have lots of experience with this. Menopause is just the next transition to navigate.
I suggest to my client that she reflect on what her responses were during other times of major hormonal change in her life. If she is like most women, there was likely a sense of being off-balance, not knowing who she was anymore, not knowing what this new role would ask of her, or how to navigate it. Yet, once the transition was made, she found her feet and moved forward to inhabit the next phase of her life. I remind her that Nature has a plan in place for us, as it does for all beings in the world, and we can look forward to it with curiosity and anticipation.
And I also remind you, "you've got this." You have so much to draw on and everything you need to become the next best version of yourself. Draw on what you know, who you are, your trusted friends, and put one foot in front of the other. The more conscious you can be through this transition, the richer the harvest in the coming years.
