The Yard Sale of Life
Spring is right around the corner and like many people, I am longing to let the breeze blow through, clear out the cobwebs, feel clean and clear. It has me thinking about what I call the “Yard Sale of Life”.
Midlife is a perfect time to engage in catching up to present time and discerning what is authentic for us now, in this stage of life. In fact, it is one of the primary life tasks we should be engaged in, and doing so will help us to consolidate our power and potency as we move forward. We all take our experiences and put them together to create a history and a path to how we see ourselves in present time. It may surprise you that many of the stories you have told yourself about why you are who you are, no longer ring true.
Much in the way of preparing for a physical yard sale, we can take our experiences, and the things that feel key to us – the roles we currently play, the beliefs we hold, the things we devote our time and life force to – and can ask ourselves if they reflect our authentic self and the way we want to be in the world going forward. We can pick up each memory, experience, identity and assumption as it arises and look it over, much in the way we would an object we are assessing for a sale. We can remember how it came to us, assess whether or not we still have use for it, if it still reflects who we are. Especially when it comes to identities or core qualities we have always associated with ourselves, it is useful to remember that these were often born of the reflections of others when we were very young.
Especially if sharing this process with trusted others, we become aware of when something no longer rings true, even as the words leave our mouths. We can no longer hide from ourselves, nor would we wish to.
You may feel that there are things about your life that no longer reflect who you are, but do not yet have a clear sense of what it would look like to live in a way that does. I this case, it is useful to think back to when you were ten or eleven years old, before the hormone tidal wave hit, and remember what your dreams were then. What called to you? What did you feel passionate about? We are often very clear at that age about who we are and what we are to be in the world.
It is also a good time to pay attention to your nighttime dreams. This is a great time to start a dream journal, make a wish map, get out the pastels and paper and draw the images that come through. Our dreams can be very clear way-showers.
Integration – taking all the knowledge we have accumulated and making some sense of it – is the developmental task in this last arc of our lives. Chapter 15 in Making Sense of Menopause offers many ways to engage with this material. It should be fun. Explore!
